Goldilocks (Actually its brown)

At one time, his hair was trim and neat. Then came that famous Christmas when the Black Santa delivered him a bag of coal. The torment of knowing that coal was his just reward for a year of wild behavior twisted his mind and then his hair. Seeking solace in wild, he transferred from a college of debauchery to Castleton College (only he could find it). There he met his Florence Nightgale, who rumors has it has a red cross on lingerie. It was not long before she, as Delia did to Sampson, shorn this rebel of his golden locks.